Every manager wants to be a leader:  someone everybody looks up to, respects, and exceeds all expectations.  You will find this easier said than done.  As a manager, you already (hopefully) possess the knowledge, skills, and attitude to be successful.  Just as important, if not more so, than the “hard skills” are the “soft skills”. These include, especially, the way you talk to other people.  Here are 3 things that should never come out of your mouth:

No Problem

During each day, you talk to countless people.  You can’t expect to consider every word that comes out of your mouth.  However, one phrase you should avoid is, “No problem.”  Each time you say this, you are implying that person’s request would have been a problem. In addition, by uttering these two little words you may be also be committing yourself to something which may not be in your best interest, or your company’s.  Sometimes, just the word “no” is all you really need.

I’ll Try

Cast your mind… you ask your manager if he can attend a presentation you’ve scheduled with a client that potentially could move your company to the next level.  You’ve done your research, prepared slides, printed copies of the reports – you feel like the master employee.  The only thing missing is your manager to pull it all together and now he says, “I’ll try.”  Stunned, you do what any great employee does:  You promise yourself you will never say those words when you become a manager!  Some phrases just don’t work in management, and “I’ll try” is one of them.  It lacks confidence and commitment and it conveys the message you are purposely leaving yourself an out.  If you want your employees to be as dedicated as you are, start saying, “I will”.

No Fair

As my wife says…  “Suck it up buttercup.  Life’s not fair.”  Telling someone, “It’s not fair” implies you feel life is supposed to be fair, and that is just not the case.  In fact, it makes you seem naive.  There are going to be plenty of things in your career you don’t feel are fair.  Still, you need to face them head on and find an alternate route to get what you are looking for.

Just for fun visit https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-32-dumbest-things-that-real-life-managers-said/ for a link to some amusing (or not so much) comments uttered by managers.  Put yourself in the shoes of the employees who received these gems and learn to think before you speak!  Continue to strive to be the best manager you can be.  Work on removing these phrases from your conversations.  Pay close attention to phrases your co-workers use, and see how they make you, or others, feel.  Your personal reaction to something said to you is a pretty good indicator of how another person would feel if the words were uttered BY you.  Remember the old saying: “Do unto others” and you’ll be a leader who always says the right thing.

Micromanagement is, more often than not, a bad thing.  It limits your team’s input, as they know you will just tell them what to do and how to do it.  This makes them feel their opinion does not matter and they are not part of the team.  Team members must have input and a chance to fail in order to grow.  As a manager, you should assist in their growth and always be “training your replacement”.  You will not advance if there is no one ready to take your place.  Here are 3 reasons managers micromanage:

Fear

Fear can come in several forms.  A project not completed to specific standards, credit going to someone else…  these are just a couple of reasons a manager might micromanage.  The only thing accomplished by keeping a choke hold on your team is telling them you do not trust them.  Once you have given them the tools and training they need, let them work through their ideas.  Check in from time to time but trust the team you have to do the job you have given them.  However, as a manager, you should give your team the training and tools they need to succeed and then give them a chance to work through their ideas.  Check in on them from time to time but give them a chance to complete the project on their own.

Insecurity

The destroyer of any relationship.  Managers sometimes have feelings of insecurity that lead to more of a micromanagement style.  The cure for insecurity is knowledge.  The more you know about a given subject, the more confident you become.  Learn all you can about the projects you have been assigned and lead your team with self-assurance.  You will feel more qualified for the position you are in, and the belief you put in your team will keep you grounded.

Wrong Team Members

Be very selective when choosing a team member.  Yes, you need to make sure they are qualified for the position and have the training necessary to perform their job.  However, you also need to make sure they have the soft skills necessary to succeed.  They need to be a good fit with the rest of your team.  Deadlines need to be met, and the job needs to get done.  The wrong team member can be a crack in your foundation and cause the whole project to fail.  Worse yet, the wrong team member will not instill trust in you.  No trust, and you end up micromanaging.

Strive to be a manager who leads.  Select the right team members and make sure they have the tools they need to succeed.  Share your knowledge and assist in their growth.  Their success is directly attributed to your ability to lead.  There is nothing to be afraid of.  The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  So, said Franklin D. Roosevelt.

As a manager, you want to be liked.  However, it is rare to be liked by everyone.  There will always be those who do not like you no matter how hard you try, but those are not the ones you should worry about.  Really, as a manager, it is not about being liked.  It is about being respected.  Still, here are 3 quick ways to be more likeable as a manager:

Be Confident

You want to be confident, but at the same time you do not want to be cocky.  This can be a fine line; however, it is one that can’t be crossed.  Confidence is a likeable trait and arrogance is not.  Confidence comes from knowledge, so be sure you have a clear understanding of your role and the roles of your team members.  Your ability to answer their questions is vital.

Be Genuine

Your team will appreciate you more when you are genuine and up front with them.  Do not try to be someone you are not.  You will not only confuse your team, it will cause them to lose respect for you.

Listen

A good manager knows the value of listening.  It allows your team a chance to voice their opinions, concerns, etc.  It also lets your team know you are there for them, and it builds their trust.  People like to talk, so take a minute to listen.  Listening to them will not only make you likeable, it will provide you with valuable insight.

A good manager may not always be liked, but they are always respected.  You can be more likable by being confident, genuine, and taking the time to listen.  These are things from which everyone can benefit.  They are valuable skills that do not cost any money or take any time.  Yet the rewards reaped can’t be measured.